It’s natural for some people to be shy. Shyness is a personality trait that makes some people more reserved or slow to warm up in social situations. However, when shyness becomes intense and causes people to avoid social interactions, it could be a sign of something more serious: social anxiety disorder (SAD).
Shyness vs. Social Anxiety in Childhood
Shyness in children is common, especially in new situations. It’s normal for a child to feel nervous meeting new people or joining an unfamiliar activity. But for children with social anxiety, this fear doesn’t fade and may worsen over time, making it hard for them to interact with peers, participate in class, or attend school.
Signs of Social Anxiety in Children
Signs that a shy child may be experiencing social anxiety include:
Avoiding Social Situations: Refusing to attend birthday parties, playdates, or school events
Excessive Worry About Judgment: Fear of making mistakes or being embarrassed in front of others
Difficulty Making Friends: Struggling to talk to peers or initiate friendships
Physical Complaints: Stomachaches, headaches, or dizziness in social situations
It’s important for parents to watch for these signs and seek help if needed.
How Parents Can Support Their Child
Helping a child with social anxiety requires patience and understanding. While some children outgrow shyness, social anxiety often needs more targeted intervention.
Here’s how parents can help:
Gradual Social Exposure
Encourage your child to engage in smaller, less overwhelming social situations before moving on to larger ones. Start with one-on-one playdates and slowly increase the size of the group to help them build confidence.
Teach Coping Skills
Teach relaxation techniques like deep breathing or role-play conversations to help your child feel prepared for social interactions. Praise their efforts, even if they’re small, to reinforce positive experiences.
Don’t Overprotect
Avoid shielding your child from all social interactions, as this may reinforce their fears. Encourage them to try new things at their own pace, but offer support when they feel anxious.
Social Anxiety in Adolescence and Adulthood
If left untreated, social anxiety can continue into adolescence and adulthood.
For teens, this may show up as:
avoiding school
avoiding class presentations
not speaking up in groups settings
not wanting to participate in extracurricular activities
intense fear of being called on by teachers
feeling isolated from peers
intense fears of being embarrassed if they have to speak in front of a group, be the center of attention, or worries about making mistakes
Adults with social anxiety may:
struggle in job interviews or speaking in meetings
avoid attending social activities at college or in the workplace
struggle with dating or meeting partners due to fear of judgement or rejection
experience difficulties completing tasks due to fears of embarrassment, judgement, or rejection
avoid completing tasks like sending emails or making phone calls
Signs of Social Anxiety in Teens and Adults
Common signs of social anxiety in older individuals include:
Fear of Rejection: Excessive worry about being judged or embarrassed
Avoidance of Social Situations: Skipping events, avoiding group projects, or not participating in gatherings
Relationship Challenges: Difficulty dating, meeting new people, or forming close relationships
Physical Symptoms: Racing heart, sweating, or feeling light-headed in social settings
Managing Social Anxiety in Teens and Adults
Whether you’re a parent of a socially anxious teen or an adult managing it yourself, there are several effective strategies. All of these approaches focus on breaking the cycle of avoidance that is solidifying and growing the experience of social anxiety and allows individuals to build confidence in social situations over time.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT emphasizes psychological flexibility and helps people clarify their values and take committed action toward meaningful goals, even in the presence of anxiety. This mindfulness-based approach encourages individuals to develop a new relationship with their social anxiety while pursuing a rich, fulfilling life aligned with their personal values.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns that fuel social anxiety. Through identifying more helpful and adaptive thoughts, you will be able to face feared situations slowly, and with support. This therapy is effective for both teens and adults and can be done individually or in group settings.
Exposure Therapy
Gradually facing feared social situations can help reduce anxiety over time. Start with less intimidating situations, like talking with a friend, before moving to more challenging scenarios, such as public speaking.
Building Social Skills
Group therapy or social skills training workshops can help people practice communication, eye contact, and other social skills in a safe environment. As individuals become more comfortable through repeated interactions, their fear of judgment or embarrassment gradually decreases, making social interactions feel less intimidating.
Next Steps
If social anxiety is preventing you or your child from enjoying life or reaching personal goals, seeking help from a licensed therapist is a good step. Contact our office to schedule an appointment so we can build a plan to tackle that social anxiety to give you your life back!
Disclaimer: Our content is on and related to the topic of mental health. The content is general information that may or may not apply to you. The content is not a substitute for professional services. This website does not contain professional advice, nor is any professional-client relationship established with you through your use of this website.
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