Getting back into the dating pool can be exciting but also overwhelming, especially when you’re navigating it through apps or meeting someone for the first time. If you’ve found yourself anxiously scrolling through your messages, stressing over what to say next, or overthinking every little thing, you’re not alone. Dating anxiety is real, and it’s something many people face in today’s world.
Here are some tips to help you manage the nerves and enjoy the process of dating someone new, whether you met them online or in-person.
Why Does Dating Make Us Anxious?
Let’s face it, dating can be nerve-wracking. It’s all the unknowns, the “will they like me?” “Did I say the right thing?” “Am I interesting enough?” These questions run through our minds, often before we even meet the person. And with the rise of dating apps, there’s an added layer of pressure. Swiping, messaging, and worrying about the next steps can feel like a lot to handle.
It’s Okay to Feel Nervous
When you first match with someone on a dating app, or meet them in person, it’s totally normal to feel anxious. Your brain may be flooded with thoughts like, “What if they don’t like me?” or “Am I saying the right thing?” These worries come from a place of wanting to connect and be accepted. It’s not something to be ashamed of—it’s just human.
Take a breath and remind yourself, “It’s okay to feel nervous. I’m putting myself out there, and that takes courage.” This small act can immediately help calm your nerves. You’re doing great, even if you don’t have everything figured out right away.
Be Realistic—Not Every Date Leads to a Love Story
We often get caught up in thinking that every date needs to lead to something serious or be “perfect.” This is where a lot of the pressure comes from. We imagine a first date will somehow be a sign of whether we’ll marry this person, and when that doesn’t happen, we can feel disappointed or anxious about the future.
Dating is about exploring connections and enjoying the experience of meeting new people, not necessarily finding your forever partner on the first try. Take the pressure off by reminding yourself that you’re just getting to know someone.
Take It Slow and Don’t Feel Rushed
In the world of dating apps, there’s a sense of urgency. If someone texts you back quickly, it feels like a sign of interest, and if they take longer, we can spiral into thoughts of “maybe they’re not that into me.” In reality, people are busy. They have lives outside of texting or chatting. It’s okay to not be in constant communication, and there’s no rush to figure everything out in the first few messages or dates.
Don’t Overthink Texting
One of the most anxiety-inducing aspects of modern dating is texting. You can spend hours analyzing the tone of a message or if they “left you on read” for too long. But texting isn’t a perfect form of communication. It lacks tone, body language, and the nuances of face-to-face interaction.
If you’re unsure about something in the text, just ask. Additionally, if you find yourself overthinking texts often, ask if you can FaceTime or meet up in-person to talk more.
Final Thoughts
Dating can be frustrating at times, but it’s also full of potential connections. If your anxiety around dating is interfering with your ability to enjoy the process, it might be time to seek support. A therapist can help you unpack the deeper causes of your anxiety and provide strategies to manage it. Schedule a new client call where our coordinator will assist you in finding the right therapist and setting up your initial therapy appointment!
Disclaimer: Our content is on and related to the topic of mental health. The content is general information that may or may not apply to you. The content is not a substitute for professional services. This website does not contain professional advice, nor is any professional-client relationship established with you through your use of this website.
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